Lancashire Dialect
By Jeff Unsworth
Worr a Palava
Worr a palava at bedtime.
Three grown ups folk un four childer.
Two double beds un one single
No wonder mi mam was bewilder't
Neaw mi nana her at likkle bed.
Un mi mam un mi dad had a double.
That left oney one moo'er fot childer.
Un that’s why we ad aw this trouble.
We tried aw roads fot sleep we some comfert.
Length ways un crossert's we'd lie.
There were elbows un legs aw ore't show
It were easy get poked in thi eye.
"Stop turn'in o'er" one er'd sheawt eawt.
"Gee us some blankit" skraahked another.
Get thi elbow eawt of mi back.
Gee o'er or aahm goo'int tell mother.
Aah remember't breawn papper we used have on't bed.
Fot cover us, instead of a sheet.
It were hard fot lapse into a really deep sleep.
Cos er't rustl'in in miggle er't neet.
When it geet cowd dur'int winter.
An owd army coat was a must.
Though one thing I never werk't eawt.
Why they never cut buttons off fust.
Aah remember one story from donkeys ears sin.
When we had a posh aunty come reawnd.
So mi mam geet us gether un said lissun here.
Aah don't waant yo mek'in a seawnd.
Neaw,we had'nt bin in bed moo'er than five or ten minutes.
They had barely start'id fot eyt.
When ar Raymund poked me in't miggle er't back.
Un of course we start'id fot feight.
"Mam…. Ar Raymunds pull't th'overcoat off of the bed"
Aah sheawted deawn, with no guilt.
"It's norr an overcoat"….. mi mam whispered back.
"Whilst we've cump'ny…We caw it a quilt"
Ten minutes went by ..we were feight'in agen.
Agen aah sheawts deawn with no guilt.
"Mam…will yo come up and give him a smack.
He's just pulled the sleeve off the quilt"
What a Palava
What a palava at bedtime.
Three grown up folk and four children.
Two double beds and one single
No wonder my mam was bewildered.
Now my Nana she had the little bed.
And my Mam and my Dad had a double.
That left only one more for the children.
And that’s why we had all this trouble.
We tried all roads to sleep with some comfort.
Length ways and cross ways we'd lie.
There were elbows and legs all over the show
It were easy to get poked in your eye.
"Stop turning over" one would shout out.
"Give me some blanket" cried another.
Get your elbow out of my back.
Give over or I'm going to tell mother.
I remember brown paper we used have on the bed.
To cover us, instead of a sheet.
It were hard to lapse into a really deep sleep.
Because of the rustling in the middle of the night ( neet. )
When it got cold in the winter.
An old army coat was a must.
Though one thing I never worked out.
Why they never cut the buttons off first.( fust )
I remember one story from years ago.
When we had a posh aunty come round.
So my Mam got us together and said listen here.
I don't want you making a sound.
Now we had'nt been in bed more than five or ten minutes.
They had barely started to eat.
When our Raymond poked me in the middle of my back.
And of course we started to fight.( feight )
"Mam…. Our Raymond has pulled the overcoat off of the bed"
I shouted down, with no guilt.
"It's not an overcoat"….. my Mam whispered back.
"Whilst we've company…We call it a quilt"
Ten minutes went by ..we were fighting again.
Again I shout down with no guilt.
"Mam…will you come up and give him a smack.
He's just pulled the sleeve off the quilt"