Lancashire Dialect
By Jeff Unsworth
Wiggin Pie Eyt'in Contest
​
It were't neet afoo'er Pie eyt'in contest.
A prestigious event theres no deawt.
Harry's Bar in Wallgate would be buzz'in
As aw't best pie eyters turned eawt.
Neaw, Dave Williams the pie eyt'in champion
Was in charge of orderin aw't pies.
They were aw in a box in his kitchen.
They were pile't up as heigh as his thighs.
After purr'in um aw in his fridge
He heard a seawnd in't front room.
He heard aw this flapp'in un flutter'in
A pigeon was stuck up his flue.
After rescu'in pigeon up chimly
He opp'nd the kitchen doo'er
He noticed aw't praytuh pie cases
Un then he saw't crumbs aw or't floo'er.
He peered in't corner er't kitchen.
Un sat wi his paw in a case
Was Charlie, his small Bichon Frise
Wi a reight guilty look on his face.
Twenty pies, Charlie had ett'n
Un tasted another ten moo'er.
There were praytuhs and juice aw ore't kitchen
Un cases and crust aw ore't floo'er.
Neaw, this put Dave in a pickle
He didd'nt want start tell'in lies
Fo't stop the pie contest be'in cawd off
He were goo'int at get moo'er pies
It was lucky he geet thee'er in time
We con bake thi some moo'er they said.
So a new lot of pies were delivered.
Un contest could still go ahead.
Then Dave had a reight gradely notion.
He thowt he'd go eawt on a limb
He'd enter Charlie inter't contest.
Nobdy could eyt pies like him
There was nowt in't rules that could stop him.
So Charlie turned up on the day
Contestants were lined up wi't pies
And contest was soon on its way
Eyt'in, chomp'in un burp'in
Charlie paused un gave a greyt sigh
Because of yesterdays session
He could'nt even finish his pie.
Wigan Pie Eating Contest (Translation)
​
It was the night before the Pie eating contest.
A prestigious event theres no doubt.
Harry's Bar in Wallgate would be buzzing
As all the best pie eaters turned out.
Now, Dave Williams the pie eating champion
Was in charge of ordering the pies.
They were all in a box in his kitchen.
They were piled up as high as his thighs.
After putting them all in his fridge
He heard a sound in the front room.
He heard all this flapping and fluttering
A pigeon was stuck up his flue.
After rescuing the pigeon up the chimney
He opened the kitchen door
He noticed all the potato pie cases
And then he saw crumbs on the floor.
He peered in the corner of the kitchen.
And sat with his paw in a case
Was Charlie, his small Bichon Frise
With a right guilty look on his face.
Twenty pies, Charlie had eaten
And tasted another ten more.
There were potatos and juice all over the kitchen
And cases and crust all over the floor.
Now, this put Dave in a pickle
He did'nt want to start telling lies
To stop the pie contest being called off
He would have to get more pies
It was lucky he got there in time
We can bake you some more, they said.
So a new lot of pies were delivered.
And the contest could still go ahead.
Then Dave had a right good notion.
He thought he'd go out on a limb
He'd enter Charlie into the contest.
Nobody could eat pies like him
There was nothing in the rules that could stop him.
So Charlie turned up on the day
Contestants were lined up with pies
And contest was soon on its way
Eating, chomping and burping
Charlie paused and gave a great sigh
Because of yesterdays session
He could'nt even finish his pie.