Copyright © 1998 Jeff Unsworth
Joe's Yedstone
Ar Joe, he dee’d last wik
Maggie wuz beside hersell
Funerals arranged for Friday wik
Thats worr I hear tell.

They reck’n Maggies order’t a marble yedstone
A black un, wi writ’in i gowd.
It wer last un in't shop, un her didn’t want miss it,
So her bowt it afoor it wer sowd.

“Wot yo want on it”? stone mason said
A nice likkle verse er’d do fine.
Yah, Maggie said tharr er’d be reet.
Tha con put “God, he were thine”

At funeral, aw’t family, un Joe’s mates were theer.
At front wuz Maggie un her sister Min.
When stone mason pull’t cover off stone,
It said “God, he was thin”.

Maggie her kicked off a skraak’in
Her face wuz as red as could be.
In horror her sheawted at mason
Dus’t know tha’s missed off the “E”.

Aw he could do wer say sorry.
He promised he’d do job agin.
Day after he fotched the stone back.
It said “E, God he was thin”

Joe's Headstone (Translation)


Our Joe, He died last week
Maggie was beside herself
Funerals arranged for Friday week
That’s what I hear tell.

They reckon Maggies ordered a marble headstone
A black one with writing in gold
It was the last one in the shop and she didn’t want to miss it
So she bought it before it was sold

“What do you want on it”, the stone mason said
A nice little verse would be fine
Yes, Maggie said that would be right
You can put “God, he was thine”.

At the funeral all the family and Joes mates were there
At the front was Maggie and her sister Min.
When the stone mason pulled the cover off the stone
It said, “God, he was thin”.

Maggie she started to cry
Her face was red as could be
In horror she shouted at the mason,
Do you know you have missed off the “E”


All he could do was say sorry
He promised he would do it again
Day after he brought the stone back.
It said “E, God, he was thin”.

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