Lancashire Dialect
By Jeff Unsworth
Jeffrey's Catty
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Aah'm beawn't mek a catty this afty.
When aah get wom fer skoo.
Lastics brock'n on't thowd un.
Un av not gett'n much else fot do.
Aah'v sin a belt'in two leg.
On a tree in Leylund park.
Aah'm goo'int go deawn thee'r at orf past six
As soon as it's gett'n dark.
Mi dad se's av not fot aah one.
Cos aah kil't a sparrow.
Burr he'l not know thar av geet it.
Cos aas't hide it under't barrow.
Aahm bestist shot in Higher Ince, me.
Aah con hit a con at thir'ty yard.
Aah con hit a gas leet at fifty foot.
Un't th'arse er't next doo'ers cat is not so hard.
When aah'v geet mi two leg.
Un two foot of square lastic.
Aah'm beawnt cut tung eaw't of mi shoe.
Cos things, they get that drastic.
Yo see, Aah need a leather pouch.
Un there's no wee'r else fot go.
So aa'st at keep hid'in both mi shoes.
Then mi dad u'll neyer know.
So neaw av geet mi two leg.
Some lastic un tung eawt of mi shoe.
Neaw I need some cott'n.
Any colour u'll do.
Aah'l nick some eawt mi mothers tin.
There's no way of her know'in.
Un if her thinks there's not much left.
Her'l think her's used it sew'in.
Aw't th'ingreediunt neaw av geet.
Aah'm ready fot drive folk batty.
So folk,waa'tch eawt cos Jeffreys here.
Un Jeffreys geet a catty.
Jeffrey's Catapult (Translation)
I'm going to make a catapult this afternoon.
When I get home from school.
The elastics broken on the old one.
And I have'nt much else to do.
I have seen a very good two leg.
On a tree in Leyland park.
I'm going to go down there at half past six.
As soon as it gets dark.
My dad says I've not to have one.
Because I killed a sparrow.
But he won't know that I have one.
For I'll hide it under the barrow.
I am the best shot in Higher Ince.
I can hit a can at thirty yards.
I can hit a gas lamp at fifty foot.
And the arse of the next doors cat is not so hard.
When I've got my two leg.
And two foot of square elastic.
I going to cut the tongue out of my shoe.
For this when things get drastic.
You see, I need a leather pouch.
And there's no where else to go.
So I'll have to keep hiding both my shoes.
Then my dad, he'll never know.
So now I've got the two leg.
Some elastic and the tongue out of my shoe.
Now all I need is cotton.
Any colour will do.
I will steal some out of my mothers tin.
Theres no way she'll be knowing.
And if she thinks theres not much left.
She will think she's used it sewing.
All the ingredients now I've got.
I am ready to drive folk batty.
So folks watch out for Jeffreys here.
And Jeffreys got a catty.