Lancashire Dialect
By Jeff Unsworth
Cowd Cure
​
Crin, aah'v gett'n a yedwarch.
Aah think aah'm cotch'in flu.
Aah'v takk'n a couple er Beechums.
Aah'm op'in that they'l do.
Aah trey'd a couple of asprins, fust.
Burr aah could'nt shake it off.
Neaw mi nose is runn'in.
Aside frum that, aah'm startin't cough.
Aw mi bones are warch'in.
Aah'v ulcers on mi gums.
Aah'm goo'int av a whiskey.
Or else a couple er rums.
If aah ad'nt geet faws teeth.
Aah'd swear they aw were ach'in.
Un't wife, her's geet no sympathy.
Sez her corn't bi doo'in wi aw this neyse aah'm mak'in.
Her sez aah should stop skraahk'in.
Which dun't orf get me raahl't.
Her sez tha dun't know what suffer'in is.
Until tha's had a chaahl't.
Eeh.. ecky thump, aah'v start'id sweat'in.
That rum, it's start'id werk, aah think.
So sod aw them tablits.
Aah'l av another drink.
Cold Cure (Translation)
​
Good heavens, Ive got an headache.
I think I'm getting the flu.
I've taken a couple of Beechums.
I'm hoping that they'll do.
I tried a couple of Asprins first.
But I could'nt shake it off.
Now my nose is running.
Besides that I'm starting to cough.
All my bones are aching.
I've ulcers on my gums.
I'm going to have a whiskey.
Or else a couple of rums.
If I had'nt got false teeth.
I'd swear they all were aching.
And the wife, she has no sympathy.
She says, she cannot cope with all this noise I'm making.
She says, I should stop crying.
Which does'nt half get me riled.
She reakons, I don't know what suffering is.
Until you've had a child.
Well, I never. I've started sweating.
That rum as started to work.. I think.
So sod all the tablets.
I'll have another drink.