The Mystery of Marriage.
 

Ephesians 5:21 – 33

21 submitting to one another in the fear of God. 
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 

26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 

27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 

28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 

29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 

30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 

31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 

Christ and the church. 

33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband

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Eph 5:21 submitting to one another in the fear of God. 

Eph 5:21 Sets the scene for the rest of this passage for the verse about submitting to each other in fear of God is the very reason to do it.
We discussed in an earlier passage how fear of the Lord is not being scared of Him but  having a specific sense of respect, awe, and submission to Him. The ultimate example of fear and perfect love working together is Jesus Christ. Jesus did not submit to His own will but the Fathers will.

“Not My will but thine be done” Luke 22:42.

Because we are in submission to God, we should submit to each other.
The fear in this verse is a fear of disappointing God, because of our love for Him through Christ.
Jesus said. “If you love Me, keep My commandments”.

So in the same way that you submit to the Father.
 

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. 

The first thing we need to understand is that this is not about domination but about care and love.
Christ is the head of the church. The church is His body. We are one, Christ in us and us in Christ.

Eph 3:17  That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith;

Eph 4:6  One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. 

What the Apostle Paul is revealing in what he is asking us to do is the mystery of oneness.

Ephesians 5:31 is a quotation of Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.”

Then Paul adds in verse 32:
 

32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 

John Piper quote:
The union of man and woman in marriage is a mystery because it conceals, as in a parable, a truth about Christ and the church. The divine reality hidden in the metaphor of marriage is that God ordained a permanent union between His Son and the church. Human marriage is the earthly image of this divine plan. As God willed for Christ and the church to become one body (Gal. 3:28; 1 Cor. 12:13), so He willed for marriage to reflect this pattern—that the husband and wife become one flesh (Gen. 2:24). End of quote.
 

Eph 5:24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 

The bible tells us that Adam was made first and Eve was taken out of Adam.
 

Gen 2:18  And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 

God caused a sleep to fall on the man and He took a rib.

Gen 2:22  And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 

Gen 2:23  And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 

Gen 2:24  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 

Dr Martin Lloyd-Jones, the minister of Westminster Chapel in London. And Bible scholar. Said:

“Notice that the Apostles lay great stress upon it. Man was created first. But not only that; man was also made the lord of creation. It was to man that this authority was given over the brute animal creation; it was man who was called upon to give them names. Here are indications that man was put into a position of leadership, lordship, and authority and power. He takes the decisions, he gives the rulings. That is the fundamental teaching with regard to this whole matter.”
 

Wives, submit:

David Guzik (Enduring Word) puts it like this:

To submit means that you recognize someone has legitimate authority over you. It means you recognize that there is an order of authority, and that you are part of a unit, a team. You as an individual are not more important that the working of the unit or the team.

i. When we submit to God, we recognize God’s authority and act accordingly. When we submit to the police, we recognize the authority of the police and act accordingly. When we submit to our employer, we recognize the authority of our employer and act accordingly.

ii. Submission does not mean inferiority. As well, submission does not mean silence. Submission means “sub-mission.” There is a mission for the Christian marriage, and that mission is obeying and glorifying God. The wife says, “I’m going to put myself under that mission. That mission is more important than my individual desires. I’m not putting myself below my husband, I’m putting myself below the mission God has for our marriage, for my life.”

Notice the wife is to be subject to her own husband as if unto the Lord.

It does not mean that she is submissive just because she is a woman. It does not mean she is less in society in politics, the work place or any kind of employment. It is only in the home and the church.

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 

This is a two way relationship.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 
 

The word for love here is the Greek word “Agape”. This is the pure love of God.
He did not use the word for love in the sense of physical love an erotic love, which is the Greek word “Eros”.
There is no domination in this love, it is the human reciprocal love for God.
In Scripture, the transcendent agape love is the highest form of love and is contrasted with eros, or erotic love, and philo, or brotherly love.
All is done out of love for God.
Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.

And what is the reason for this?

Spurgeon said:
“I ask you to notice what is not always the case with regard to the husband and the wife, that the Lord Jesus loves his church unselfishly; that is to say, he never loved her for what she has, but what she is; nay, I must go further than that, and say that he loved her, not so much for what she is, but what he makes her as the object of his love. He loves her not for what comes to him from her, or with her, but for what he is able to bestow upon her. His is the strongest love that ever was.”
 

26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 

We see here Logos in action. Christ is the Logos, the Word of God John 1.
Yet here, Paul uses the word “Rhema”, because this is the Word in action.

When the Logos is spoken it is a Rhema.

We can see this in the words of Jesus,  Matthew 4:4 “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word [rhema] that proceedeth out of the mouth of God”.

Jesus also stated, “The words [rhema] that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life” (John 6:63).

We can understand it this way also when we read of the application of the Word:

“So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word [rhema] of God” (Romans 10:17).

Ephesians 6:17 “And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word [rhema] of God”.

And our text: Ephesians 5:25–26 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word [rhema]”.

The objective of Christ’s love for His church is to make holy, sanctified, without blemish.
 

Eph 5:27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 

When she is presented to Christ, all the principalities and powers will look on her and will not be able to detect one spot or blemish on her. For with His love He has cleansed her.

28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 

29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 

He who loves his wife, loves his own body, for she is part of him as they are part of Christ’s body.

30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 

Paul again here  quotes from Genesis 2:24. The same one that Jesus had used in Matthew 19:5. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 

Paul is using marriage as a way of trying to teach us about Christ and His church.
 

32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 

Christ came into the world to die to purchase a bride, (the church). She was to be complete in Him.

Adam was incomplete without Eve; we can say that Eve makes up the “fullness” of Adam and makes up that which was lacking in him.
That is exactly what the church does for Jesus; 

Ephesians 1:23 says of the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

Spurgeon said:
It shows the common connection of unity and oneness in the two relationships. “Unity, mark you for that is the essence of the marriage-bond. We are one with Christ, who made himself one with his people.” End of quote.

 

33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband

It is interesting to see that the New KJV says “respect” and the KJV says “reverence”:
 

Eph 5:33  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. 

Martyn Lloyd Jones says:

The true meaning in this verse is “fear” But we must remember that there are different types of fear… he speaks of ‘reverential’ fear. What it really means is ‘deference’, ‘with reverential obedience’.”

Deference: respect and esteem due a superior or an elder.

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